Let me take you back to a world of snow, a world not so long ago .... last week in fact ....
The snow's going, going, gone from most places, but the allotments still have an air of wintery wonderland. The gates are locked and it doesn't look like much allotmenting has been going on for a while. I am not fooled by this, because only last night, just by chance, I was watching a programme about allotment shenanigans and I know that I risk being arrested for trespassing, seeing my equipment smashed and/or having my carrots stolen. Undeterred, ninja like, I leap over the metal mesh gate. Oo, aar, there goes my ninja hip. Still, I made it and no one has appeared to witness the scene so I tramp around until I find an okay spot to paint.
Surprisingly the painting appears to go okay, until, it had to happen, I'm rumbled. A lady arrives (by car) to tend her veg (or other such allotmenty thing).
"Did you climb the gate to get in?"
"Er, not that one." (bizarre, slightly evasive response)
"Is anyone else here?"
She lets me live and goes about her business. I set about my own business and I nearly finish by the time she passes again on her way out. Another conversation as she gets out to close the gate and lock it behind her:
"Will you be okay climbing out?"
"No worries." For I am Ninja...