PAP

Let me take you back to a world of snow, a world not so long ago .... last week in fact ....

The snow's going, going, gone from most places, but the allotments still have an air of wintery wonderland. The gates are locked and it doesn't look like much allotmenting has been going on for a while. I am not fooled by this, because only last night, just by chance, I was watching a programme about allotment shenanigans and I know that I risk being arrested for trespassing, seeing my equipment smashed and/or having my carrots stolen. Undeterred, ninja like, I leap over the metal mesh gate. Oo, aar, there goes my ninja hip. Still, I made it and no one has appeared to witness the scene so I tramp around until I find an okay spot to paint.

Surprisingly the painting appears to go okay, until, it had to happen, I'm rumbled. A lady arrives (by car) to tend her veg (or other such allotmenty thing).

"Did you climb the gate to get in?"

"Er, not that one." (bizarre, slightly evasive response)

"Is anyone else here?"

"Er, no."

She lets me live and goes about her business. I set about my own business and I nearly finish by the time she passes again on her way out. Another conversation as she gets out to close the gate and lock it behind her:

"Will you be okay climbing out?"

"No worries." For I am Ninja...

PAP

First dose of PAP this year. I have been shamed into action by the bubbly fresh faced enthusiasm of PAPper extraordinaire Tom Hughes (no relation). [Check out his work at www.tomhughespainting.co.uk.] Whereas I have been gloomily looking out the window, thinking it looks really cold, he has been out revelling in the PAP opportunities. [Check out his blog here www.tomhughespainting.co.uk/category/blog/.] Well, dammit, he's right and better late than never I make the effort and try and find some snow to paint.

It's rapidly diminishing, but the building site over the way from the studio has been pretty much left untouched and (again inspired by a Tom painting) I can put some diggers in for a bit of colour. It all sounds great, but I get lazy and try and use the old paint still on my palette from last year (a mistake) and any detail required escapes my worn brushes. I leave off the name of the hire firm - there's no point in trying and who is P Hickey anyway? (Apart from being the only person who might be interested in buying the painting.)

Walking around trying to find this spot I saw an inappropriately dressed man in a sharp suit and leather soled loafers. He's slipping and sliding over a sheet of ice carrying something to his car. He's trying to be so careful with the object that I think he must be holding a baby, but then he opens the boot and turns around and he's only carrying a large load of toilet paper. Crazy, I think, why's he risking a life time of bad backs for a bumper load of loo roll? This thought returns to me as my boots turn the snow beneath my feet to ice and I struggle with the picture.

I manage to get the painting to some sort of reasonable conclusion before I get too cold to continue. At least I'm back on the PAPping horse again.

Do a backup you eejit

Snow!

05/02/09

A wise man once told me that the secret of a good snow painting is to paint the sky darker than the snowy ground. The reality varies as the clouds change, but I heed the words of the guru.

The same wise man also said, "look and look again." I pay this less attention as I get lost in the windows  - so many windows.

I've never seen the park so busy with snowmen and sledgers everywhere. I'm an easy target, but only two snowballs come my way and they are a bit feeble - must be my hard stare.

The snow is already melting and every passing car hastens its demise. The yellow lines start to appear, but I regret my decision to paint them in as it just looks like a load of pee stains in the snow. I try and correct the mistake, but not sure I totally get it right. I put the railings in at the end, but it's tricky to do it without making the snow all dirty and they end up all over the place.

The cold finally defeats me and as I pack up I find someone's car keys revealed by the melting snow. Picking them up I resolve to do the right thing and hand them in at the police station.

06/02/09

More snow! I schlep into town lugging easel and board only to find that the snow here has already melted. I schlep all the way back to the car, determined to make the most of the weather - I need some altitude. I try my luck with Lansdown Crescent again - it's a bit of a nemesis - but it's still got plenty of white stuff.

4 things that make me smile (or not):

• A little old lady risks the treacherous snow and ice to come over and say hello. She's 87 (she told me) and she's supposed to be doing some shopping for a neighbour - what a star.
• Bloke: "Are you the guy I've seen painting around town before?" Me: "Er .... I could be ..." A slightly awkward pause follows and I find myself trying to fill the void, "but you could be confusing me with Peter Brown, I often get confused with Peter Brown, he's much more famous (? What!?) babble babble Peter Brown babble babble ..." STOP! Who is this crazy person talking - I manage to mention Pete's name at least half a dozen times without once telling the guy who I am. He walks on, slightly bemused.
• The cold again gets the better of me and I pack up. It's 3.30. I know this because lol is feeding the pigeons (who have been waiting impatiently for the last hour) and she always does this at 3.30 (she told me).
• I drop the keys off at the police station. A policewoman comes over to the counter and announces 'You're the artist Ben Hughes!" Not a question, just a statement of fact. Yes - recognition at last (assuming of course that I haven't got my mug shot on some wanted poster). I look surprised and then she points out the paint on my clothes - damn, she's good.